Character Guest Post: How to Tame a Shadow Panther

Transferred from a fictional universe by A.J. Syngraféas

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This is a stupid topic. Why do I have to write about this? Why do I even have to write this at all? 🙄There are about a million other things I would rather do than this. Whatever this is exactly. The weird person who showed up at my doorstep begging me to do this didn’t exactly explain it super well. 

Anyway, my name is Kaden. Just Kaden is fine. Knowing my first name is far more than I would like you to know. My past was my past. What I’m doing now is none of your business and-

Okay fine, you need to know that I have a panther. An Alis Shadow Panther to be precise. So probably a little different than whatever panthers you have where you are, but that’s besides the point. I’m supposed to tell you how to tame one. Apparently the alleged ‘author’ person doesn’t understand that that’s not really how that works. (Which kinda proves my point with putting the word alleged in there, doesn’t it?) 

But I suppose if I were to tell you how to do it, it would probably be something along these lines. 

1. Start off gentle

If you’re going to get anything done, be gentle. The worst idea is to go around smacking the animal. Be gentle and talk softly to it. They will usually slowly warm up to you and begin to like you. Just understand that you can generally be a threatening person to an animal like a Alis Panther (do you guys even have these panthers where you are? Am I even writing this for a purpose?). 

So be gentle and caring. Don’t go running up to them at first sight. Warm up to them.

2. Begin with a young panther

Me and my panther, Mia, met when we were both pretty young, so that kinda had something to do with it. We were both more trusting then. (Though Mia is still trusting of anyone who wants to be her friend, so…maybe it’s just me) 

3. Observe and learn before anything else

Before anything else, stand by and learn. Figure out what scares the panther, what makes them angry, and what makes them happy. That way you will have that information stored for later so you won’t start throwing pots and pans at the wall, scaring them. (Honestly, that just sounds concerning now that I write it out. Don’t ask, alright?)

4. Just hang out with your panther

Long story, but I’ve spent a LOT of time with Mia. We hardly leave each other’s sides throughout the day. We are all the other has. (I mean I don’t really leave the forest to hang out with people…) 

So spend time with your panther. You will gain a friend and your bond will become a lot stronger for it. 

5. Don’t think every panther wants to be your friend

Whatever you do, don’t go running up to every panther, thinking they will be friendly. Some will and that’s great and all, but not every one will be. If you do, you will probably end up with a few scratches and a good talking-to by whatever adult was—I mean is in your life. Not to mention ruining your favorite shirt. (Again, don’t ask.) 

That’s pretty much all I got for tips on how to ‘tame’ a panther, but I don’t quite think that’s really possible. Every panther is going to be wild to some extent, it just depends on how friendly they are in the first place. Some panthers could never have a bond with humans. Others just want to have friendship with someone. 

Oh and…

6. Never ever allow your panther to get up onto your bed

This hardly needs any explaining. If you want a bed instead of a bunch of torn shreds of fabric and feathers, don’t allow the panther to get up onto the bed. 

Yeah, I think that’s actually all I’ve got. Thanks for reading this, I guess. But I’m not sure why any rational person would ever waste their time reading these random posts. I mean like Five Activities to do in Prison? Come on, who actually reads that? 

Whatever. Hopefully I don’t have to write another one of these again, because I actually do have better things to do unlike some people. 

—Kaden 

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Until next time, 

A.J. Sygraféas