Forged In Ice – Snippet 1

Hello everyone! Today I have a snippet that isn’t quite a short story, but is the first part of a small project I wrote this month for Inktober. Yes, I know Inktober is usually a drawing challenge during October, but in the writing program I’m in (https://theyoungwriter.com/workshop-students) we often use the drawing prompt list and write snippets using the prompts. I wrote a whole little book from those prompts! I wasn’t originally going to post this, but I figured I might as well post one and see what y’all think! 

***

This wasn’t happening. 

Disbelief echoed through my mind as my hands tightened around the cold strips of leather. An icy wind blew against my face and caused my fur cloak to billow out behind me, not doing much of anything to keep me warm. Snow shot like icy arrows from the heavens, blinding me and soaking every last dry piece of fabric. Each gallop from the horse sliced through the thick snow and cracked through the ice, shattering it into a thousand sharp fragments. 

The small child curled up into a ball under a pile of blankets whimpered in his sleep, his body pressed tightly against my chest. 

How could it happen? 

Glace moved on, ice sticking to the ends of his mane and his breath coming in thick clouds of steam. His shoulders tensed and moved with ease as he made his way around the tightly knit trees. 

I set my jaw, pulling myself closer to the horse. The frozen sword bounced at my hip, giving me some comfort. 

Images again flashed through my mind. Blood. So much blood. My wife’s scream. The snow stained a deep red. The tears frozen against my face. A mark in the snow. One I had wished never to see again. 

Gritting my teeth, I gripped the reins tighter, the leather rubbing awkwardly against my gloves. Snow clung to my hair and clothes. The packs behind me jostled, metal clanking against metal. Dead-looking trees towered overhead, their skeletons heavy laden in snow. 

My heart pounded inside my chest, making me grip the small figure of the child closer. 

Hot tears threatened to stream down my face again, but I didn’t let them. A fire of hatred burned deep in my chest, despite the cold surrounding me. 

I raised my head, the wind threatening to blow my hood off my head. The dark sky above me hung like a curtain. Dark clouds rolled across it, white billowing out of them and blanketing the ground. The stars and moon were nowhere in sight. It was just darkness. Everywhere. 

A shiver ran through my body. I averted my eyes, looking straight ahead. Glace continued on, his hooves beating against the ground in a rhythm. Ice cracked and tree limbs moaned. Wind whistled, as though pushing me back. 

I tore one hand away from the reins to pull the blanket over the boy in my arms. His red, sleeping face peered out from the edge of the fabric, dark curls falling over his face. 

Tears strung at the edges of my eyes again. This hadn’t really happened. It was simply a nightmare. 

It had to be. 

But I wasn’t waking up. And everything felt so real. 

Painfully real. 

I pressed my lips together and narrowed my eyes, willing myself to turn as cold as the world around me. Coldness would be better than the sharp pain digging through me like a dagger. 

Urging Glace to move faster, I made my body stiff. The only warmth coming from the boy tucked against me and the horse under me. 

My breaths came in short gasps, swirling against the snow in small curls. I reached up and pulled the snow crusted mask over my face. At least it would help somewhat.m, although the frozen crystals stung against my half frozen face. 

All that was left was to leave. To keep running and not look back. 

My cold fingers twitched. There was nothing to look back for. It was all gone. 

And it was my fault. It was all my fault. 

My face warmed and sharp pains ran through my nose. The edges of my eyes became wet with hot water. I blinked quickly, trying to push the tears back and make my vision clear. 

Push the emotions out. Shut the door. The familiar voice rose up from deep inside me. A voice I hadn’t heard from in a long time. It wasn’t the moment. I couldn’t do it. 

I had to stay strong. For his sake. I glanced down at the boy. The peace filling his sleeping face. I was all he had left. 

Squaring my shoulders, I squinted through the snow. My breaths came slower, my chest rising and falling in rhythm with Glace’s hoof beats. 

Inhale. 

The snow blew against me harder, wind beating against my face. 

Exhale. 

I tightened my grip on the reins. 

Inhale. 

Cold numbness seemed to soak into my chest. 

Exhale. 

Emptiness filled me more with every tree we passed. My anger diminished into a low flame and the daggers stabbing into my heart seemed more dull. I had to be clear headed. A cold, calm presence in the midst of the blizzard.

There was nothing left for my fire to burn like a bonfire for. A small flame was all I needed. Even if the cold smothered it, that was fine with me. I didn’t mind. I would rather the cold. 

But it’s your fault. 

The thought cut through the shield I had put up around myself like a hot poker burning through ice. How could I act this way when it was my fault? It was my fault they had found her. Every drop of blood that had been spilt had been spilt on my account. Because I had led them to her. I had put her in danger. Because I hadn’t been there to protect her. 

Without thinking, my hand clamped down on the sword’s hilt, frozen metal biting back at my fingers through the gloves. If I had been taken out of the equation, she would be fine. 

How could I grieve if it was my fault in the first place? 

Gritting my teeth, I shook my head. I couldn’t have controlled the actions of others. 

But you could have kept her safe. 

I hadn’t been expecting it. It’d been years. 

You let yourself become weak. You let your guard down and this is what happened. 

I hissed through my teeth. Nobody could have predicted any of it. I thought we were safe. I thought my past was behind me. 

Your fault. The two simple words echoed in my mind. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. Your fault. 

My shoulders slumped forward and I lowered my head.

“Why?” I whispered out to the wind, nothing but the crack of ice and a snort from Glace as my reply. 

“Why?” I yelled at the onslaught of snow pouring from the heavens. 

Flakes pierced my cheeks and chilled the wetness in my eyes. My grip only tightened more. 

“Why?” I screamed, my voice overpowering the darkness and slicing through the howl of the wind. 

Nobody answered. It was still just the whistle of the wind and the thundering hoofbeats against the snow. 

Nothing. Nothing except for me and the endless white darkness. 

“Why?” My voice said weakly, as I slumped forward and allowed my stinging hand to loosen its grip from the sword at my side. 

That’s when I felt the old fire inside of me go out and the numbing cold take over. 

***

Until next time, 

Aliya Gerow